


28 Days (to Change Your Mind)

by louisfreckles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Girl Direction, Girl Direction Winter Fic Fest, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of alcohol, No Smut, mentions of depression, side Ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27784603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisfreckles/pseuds/louisfreckles
Summary: Louis swallowed thickly, her throat feeling dry. “What are you saying?”“I guess I’m saying… You’re quite special, Louis Tomlinson.”Or, the one where Harry hates the month of February, but Louis is determined to make her see the beauty of it. Falling in love happens completely by accident.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Girl Direction Winter Fic Fest





	28 Days (to Change Your Mind)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for the Girl Direction Winter Fic Fest, thank you for having me!  
> I'd like to thank my wonderful friend for helping me with this.  
> Hope you like this fic, if you do, please leave kudos and comments, it means a lot!  
> Enjoy!

“Hey, guys!” Niall’s voice rang as she entered the cafe they usually hung out in, where Louis was sitting with her friends, waiting for her. “Sorry, I’m late. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

“Hi,” a tall girl with curly brown hair and green eyes smiled shyly at the three sitting in the booth as Niall gestured to her. “I’m Harry, sorry for barging in.”

“They’re cool with it, don’t worry,” Niall said, sitting down next to Louis. “What?” She asked as they all stared at her in bewilderment.

Louis wanted to tell Niall that no one had ever said they were cool with it, but it would be rude. She was tactless, but not this tactless. From the looks on the faces of the couple sitting opposite her, Liam and Zayn were thinking the same thing. Louis figured she should say something, so she chose to minimize the blunt as she said, “Is that all you have for the introduction?”

“Oh, silly me,” Nial laughed. “Harry and I work together. We’re work friends, good work friends. We were both running a bit late today, and I got to telling her I was meeting with you guys so I had to run and then I thought, why not invite her? She’s really our type and all so I invited her. And uh, Harry, this is Louis, that’s Liam, and that’s Zayn.”

Niall gestured towards each of the girls respectively, and each of them greeted Harry curtly, to which she replied with a “very nice to meet you all.”

“I wish we could say we’ve heard a lot about you,” Zayn started, “but you should probably blame Niall for that.”

“Yeah,” Liam chimed it, “she doesn’t tell us much about her work friends, not by name at least. So this is kind of a surprise. But by all means, do not feel unwelcome.”

“Yeah, a friend of Nialler’s, is a friend of ours,” Louis added, and the rest of the girls agreed.

And thus began the questioning. Louis sort of felt bad for Harry at first, knowing her friend could be like vultures, circling over their soon-to-be victim, whenever one of them introduced someone new to the group.

They had all been friends forever; Louis and Zayn were childhood best friends, having grown up together and gone to all the same schools, and eventually, move out to London at the same time. However, being well aware of how unable they were to spend more than a day together in the same space without butting heads, they chose to live apart during their time at uni, and Louis ended up rooming with Liam and Zayn with Niall. As time passed with the four of them always hanging out together and inevitably growing closer, Liam and Zayn fell in love, after a few years of saving up after uni, they rented a flat of their own. By that time, both Louis and Niall had enough money to live by themselves as well and didn’t feel the need to become flatmates. They simply each remained in their flat, while the couple had their own place.

So Louis knew her friends pretty well, and she knew how easily they could scare new people off. But Harry didn’t seem scared at all. She was actually quite charming, Louis thought. She talked well, if rather slowly, and seemed to be gradually stealing everyone’s hearts, as she somehow had the attention of all of the girls in the booth. She was quite magnetic, which was refreshing after way too many new friends and partners that were so incredibly intimidated, they couldn’t possibly stay.

After quite some time of Harry being the center of the conversation, the girls had finally moved onto other topics.

“You know what’s weird? February.” Niall said, swallowing her food midway through the sentence.

“You’re weird,” Liam called Niall out. “What’s weird about February?”

“Why is it so short?!” Niall exclaimed. “I mean, couldn’t they divide the months evenly, back in the Middle Ages, or whatever? How come it’s all thirty, thirty-one days and then there’s February, that’s like ‘hey I’m twenty-eight days long, but I’m also twenty-nine days long sometimes.’ Like what the fuck?”

“Stop judging months, Nialler.” Louis laughed.

“Yeah, plus there are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, it’s an odd number, how do you want it to be divided by twelve?” Liam challenged.

“Time isn’t real, Lima,” Niall said, matter-of-factly. “There didn’t have to be twelve months in a year. There weren’t, before Julius Caesar, know your history.”

“What do you think, Harry?” Zayn asked the girl, who had grown silent during the argument. Louis knew Zayn was messing with Niall, and she hoped Harry didn’t feel attacked.

“I hate February,” Harry replied, making everyone raise their eyebrows at her. “I think it’s, like, the worst month of the year.” She said that so lightly, they didn’t have a choice but to laugh.

“See?” Niall said. “And you say I’m weird.”

“I don’t think being friends with you says anything good about Harry’s sanity.” Louis teased, and Niall huffed.

“You guys are the worst.”

✧✧✧

Harry continued to join their group hangouts occasionally, gradually joining more and more often. However, for the few months it took her to become an inseparable fifth part of their group, they often referred to her as “the girl who hates February”, at first whenever they wouldn’t remember her name, and later just to take the piss out of Niall.

But while they were convinced she was joking, it seemed to really be a thing with her, which they caught on several occasions. However, the more she merged into the group, the more it became a funny, insignificant quirk of hers, which they would even joke about with her.

“Why do you hate February so much?” Louis laughed once. “It’s a great month.”

“It’s so short!” Niall exclaimed the same way she did back when Harry first joined them.

“I wasn’t speaking to you.” Louis poked her on the nose. “Besides, good things come in small packages.”

“Yeah, I bet you’ve heard that a lot growing up, huh, Lou?” Liam teased, and the girls all laughed.

“Haha, very funny. I’m tall.”

Harry snorted, “whatever floats your boat, mate.”

Louis rolled her eyes, “I believe I asked you a question?”

“I dunno. I guess I just don’t like it. I don’t see what’s so great about it. If anything, the only good thing I see about it is that it’s over way faster than the other ones. If it were as long as they are, it’d be even worse.”

Louis didn’t feel like her question was answered, but the topic had changed before she could call Harry out.

“So, Louis’ birthday party…”

“I will not be receiving any gift that is both a Christmas and a birthday gift, this year. You’ve been warned, don’t be cheap.”

“Sassy…”

✧✧✧

A few months later, with Louis’ birthday/Christmas party behind them, as well as the new year celebrations, they gathered again for the first time after Zayn’s birthday on January twelfth, towards the end of the month.

"Hey!” Louis grinned at her friends as they entered the cozy cafe and approached the booth she sat in. However, her smile soon fell, “where’s Harry?”

“She said she’s not feeling too well tonight,” Niall said as she, Zayn, and Liam all took off their coats, scarves, and mittens and slid into the booth, Niall sitting next to Louis while Liam and Zayn took the seat across from them. “Think she’s gonna stay inside.”

“Oh, poor thing. Did she say what she has?” Louis asked.

“Not really,” Niall shrugged, “just that she’s not feeling great so she’s not coming out tonight.”

“Oh.” That was all Louis could say in response, not expecting to feel the level of disappointment that flooded her. She told herself it was just that she had grown used to having Harry around. She had, after all, been to all of their meetups for several months, and she was there for Zayn’s birthday, so it was weird to suddenly have her missing. They’ve all grown to love her a lot, as she was quite the charmer.

After having a very enjoyable dinner with her friends, as Louis was driving back home, she found herself feeling bad that Harry had missed out and was instead stuck inside, probably feeling terrible, maybe even sick.

An overwhelming sense of worry flooded her, and Louis thought it was ridiculous— she had only known Harry for a little while, how come her absence upset her even more than it would if any other of her friends, whom she had known for years, were the one who didn’t show up?

With that thought, Louis was only barely aware of what her body was doing as she took a different road, and was now headed towards Harry’s street. Between that moment and finding herself standing in a dim-lit stairway, knocking on the dark wooden apartment door in front of her, it was all a blur of thoughts, all of which circled around one curly-haired girl.

“Go away, Louis.” Harry’s voice, sounding a bit rougher than usual, which Louis attributed to her feeling unwell, sounded from behind the door a few seconds later.

“You’re not even gonna open the door?” Louis asked, a little hurt. “Did I do something wrong?”

The sound of a key turning in its hole was followed by the door opening just enough to let a glimpse of curly brown hair and one green eye, which Louis thought looked a bit puffy, but she couldn’t tell much, peek out through the narrow gap. “No,” she said flatly, “please, go away.”

The light in the stairway went out, and Louis stuck her foot forward just as Harry tried to shut the door in her face, only barely managing to wedge the tip of her black-and-white converse between the door and the doorframe.

“Look, I just came here because I missed you tonight, and I was worried because Niall said you were under the weather, so I thought I’d check up on you… is everything alright?”

“Everything’s great.” Louis couldn’t see Harry’s face as it was now turned away, only her hair, surrounded by a soft aura of faint light from inside the apartment. However, she could definitely hear Harry’s voice cracking on the last word, which made her decide then and there that she couldn’t possibly leave just yet.

“Okay, well… I have to take a wee.” Louis tried an apologetic smile, even though she wasn’t sure if Harry could see her, or if she was even looking. “I can’t hold it the entire drive home, could I maybe use your restroom, please? I’ll be real quick, I promise.”

Harry simply sighed and opened the door wider, letting Louis in, who thanked her as she entered and headed towards the bathroom. While washing her hands, Louis suddenly realized there was not enough soap left, and began looking through the cabinets, as carefully and quietly as she could, for a new one. In her search, however, she seemed to manage to accidentally knock over a little bottle, and send its contents— a handful of little pills— scattering over the bathroom tile floor. “Shit,” she muttered to herself.

Within less than five seconds, Harry was at the door, her pale face going even paler and her eyes widening when she saw Louis kneeling down and beginning to clean up her mess by picking up the bottle first. Just as Louis’ eyes caught a glimpse of the words printed over the sticker on the bottle, it was snatched from her hand by slim, long fingers. She rose to her feet in silence as Harry rushed to gather the mess, but as the taller girl finally stuffed the bottle back into the cabinet and let out a breath of relief, Louis noticed her entire body shaking.

“Harry-”

“What the hell were you doing going through my cabinets?!” Harry turned toward Louis, lashing out at her with the scariest look Louis had ever seen on her. What with Harry usually being the calmest, most together person in their friend group, the one who pretty much never got seriously mad about anything, seeing her this upset made Louis actually fear for her life a little bit.

“I-I’m sorry,” Louis cursed herself for stuttering, it was nothing like her. But then again, Harry’s rage wasn’t a pretty color on her, either, so Louis let it slide, telling herself that she wasn’t the only one showing a new side of herself. “I wasn’t trying to be nosy or anything, you just ran out of soap and I needed soap so I thought I might find some in your cabinets and then I guess I accidentally dropped your, uh…”

“Antidepressants?” Harry asked, quieter as both her voice and her facial expression shifted from rage back to exhaustion. “So I have them, so what?”

Louis felt like Harry was trying to sound defensive or even a little challenging, but she just ended up sounding so tired and so sad, that it actually hurt Louis’ heart.

“Nothing. I don’t mind… I guess I never really knew you took them. Not that it’s any of my business.”

“It really isn’t,” Harry shot her a low glare before her eyes dropped back to where she was twiddling her fingers, “but I don’t. I’m supposed to, for my PTSD-induced depression, but… I don’t know. I don’t really like them.”

Louis’ heart suddenly felt like there was a weight resting on it. She had never known, and while she guessed she didn’t really know Harry that long or that well, and she really wasn’t one to stereotype, she still felt kind of thrown off. “PTSD?”

Harry’s eyes rose to meet Louis’, “yeah, Post Traumatic St-”

“I know what PTSD means.” Louis cut her off, but regretted it not even a second later, as the girl’s gaze fell back to the floor. “I guess I just never knew-”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Harry turned her head towards the doorway as if she heard someone coming, but there was no noise, and Louis thought it might be a means to hide how she felt.

“Does it have to do with why you hate February?” Louis was only partly teasing, and with half a smirk, but both her face and voice softened to ask, “and with why you didn’t come out with us tonight?”

Harry momentarily glanced at Louis before looking away again, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I mean, you said that you weren’t feeling well, but you don’t really look or sound sick. You just look a little down. Like you could use a hug.” The corners of Louis’ mouth rose with something inside of her that was actually a little hopeful that Harry would walk into her arms at that moment. Harry, however, still wasn’t even looking at her.

“Feeling mentally unwell is just as valid as being physically unwell.”

“Of course it is.” Louis followed Harry as she stepped out of the bathroom and was making her way towards the living room, where the only lights came from the TV and in small, insufficient spots from outside the window, and where there was a couch standing with a fuzzy blanket strawn carelessly on its cushions. “No one said it wasn’t. I was just worried. I still am.”

They both sat down on the couch, and Louis made sure to give Harry her space, sitting about a cushion away from her, turned sideways to face her, while Harry had her side facing Louis, and she was looking away.

“I don’t need your worry.”

“Well, you’re gonna get it, whether you like it or not.” Louis chuckled softly. “We’re friends now, and let me tell you, I’m a great friend. Ask Niall, ask Liam and Zayn, they’ll tell you. And as the great friend that I am, I care about my friends, and I worry when they’re not feeling well.”

There was a long silence in which Louis had already decided to settle back against the couch and just watch TV with Harry, as she certainly wasn’t leaving now. Even if Harry didn’t want anything from her, not even just to talk, Louis was going to stay just a little longer, just so that Harry didn’t feel alone, and that she might have someone to talk to if she does need to.

“It does.”

“Excuse me?” Louis wasn’t sure whether she really heard those words, or just imagined it.

“It does have to do with the things you mentioned.”

Louis looked curiously over at Harry, who was sitting with one leg under her bum, and the other bent with her knee to her chest and her foot flat on the couch. In her tight, black leggings, fluffy, mismatched socks, undone thick, warm, plaid button-up— under which she had a white t-shirt— and messy curls, she looked so soft and cozy, Louis had to stop herself from being drawn towards her, just wanting to cuddle her.

“I… always get a little depressed around this time of the year. It used to be much worse when I was younger, now I just shut down gradually towards the end of January and bounce back in March. February has just never been really good to me. And particularly February first.”

“What’s on the first?”

“My birthday.” Louis blinked confusedly at Harry, who now had her chin on her knee.

“Isn’t that supposed to be a positive thing?”

Harry sighed. “If you must know, I’ve never had a proper birthday. My mother… Let's just say she didn’t plan on having me. It wasn’t even an ‘accident’ sort of thing. She was married to my father, but he wasn’t treating her very well.  
“The night I was conceived was… rather violent, so to speak. And he didn’t care that she didn’t want another child, they already had my sister and even that was a lot for her, because she was young and there were still things that she wanted to accomplish, but he never helped take care of my sister.  
“So she was forced to keep me, and shortly after I was born she took me and my sister and left. But she raised me only because she had to, because she felt like she would be a horrible person if she gave me up. That’s something she actually said to me, more than once. To her, my birthday was never something to celebrate. And my sister always sort of resented me, because to her I broke up our family and made our mother depressed.  
"I suppose she’s not entirely wrong, because my mother would always say she was never the same after I was born. And for as long as I lived with her, she was always unhappy, and I was always guilty. And you know, that leaves a mark, living like that. So I grew up believing birthday parties were a luxury I didn’t deserve, and I never told anyone when my birthday was because I thought it would be a sad day for them, too, if I did. I used to spend my birthdays wishing none of it ever happened, and I was really influenced by the fact that everyone in my family seemed to be almost mourning the day I was born.  
“After I was diagnosed, which is a whole other story of how I got to be, I got help, and it’s made me so much better, but this time of the year is just… a really dark time for me.”

“Gosh… I am so sorry, Harry.” Louis didn’t really know what else to say. By this point, both of them had tears streaming down their faces, and all Louis wanted to do was squeeze Harry so tight, and never let her go.

Harry simply sniffled and wiped under her eyes with the pads of her fingers, looking down at the ground.

“For what it’s worth, I’m grateful that you were born,” Louis said softly as she gently played with the tips of Harry’s long curls, “that probably sounded cheesy, but I mean it. You’re such a wonderful person, and you truly don’t deserve any of that. I wish I knew how to make you feel better, because you should be happy that you’re alive, and you certainly deserve to be celebrated.”

Harry chuckled dryly, “I wish anyone would’ve thought like that. Other kids always seemed so happy having their birthdays celebrated. I’ve always wanted that.”

“You deserve it.”

Louis was about to ask Harry if she could hug her, but Harry was already twisting in Louis’ direction and leaning against her, her head resting on Louis’ shoulder, and Louis had no choice but to wrap her arms around her. Before she could even think about what she was doing, let alone stop herself, she gave Harry a tight squeeze and pressed her nose to Harry’s head, breathing her in as if it was the most natural thing. As if she’s been suffocated and Harry was her first breath of air.

When she felt her heart skip a beat in her chest, however, she realized what she was doing, and her thoughts began to race. How has it not occurred to her just how much she did, in fact, mean the words she just said to Harry, even while she said them? Never before had she contemplated the possibility that she would come to think of Harry as anything more than a friend. And it all happened so fast, Harry had only been in her life for a few months. Louis was beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed, but Harry seemed unbothered by Louis’ actions and unaware of the mess of thoughts swirling around in her head, as she simply lied in Louis’ arms, her arms wrapped loosely around Louis’ waist, and breathed in and out, a tear occasionally falling onto Louis’ skin.

And as if that situation didn’t have Louis’ mind reeling quite enough, a few hours later into that night she found herself in Harry’s bed, both still in the same clothes they had on earlier, and she was spooning Harry as the taller girl’s breath gradually evened out.

When Louis made the decision of staying there with Harry, she didn’t even think it would come to this, but when it was starting to get really late and she tried to detach herself from the lanky body clinging onto her, Harry pouted and sniffled, talking about how she hated sleeping alone on nights like this, with all the nightmares and bad thoughts and, well, Louis was apparently even more whipped than she had just discovered earlier that night.

So there she was, a sleeping Harry resting calmly in her arms, and while sleep refused to come to her, something else was becoming clear to her, and a plan was brewing in her restless mind.

✧✧✧

Louis had to get a start on her plan as soon as she left Harry’s apartment the next day. While she didn’t tell anyone about anything that happened that night, she did tell them one thing.

“We’re throwing Harry a surprise party.”

“A surprise party?” Niall asked. “Why? What’s the occasion?”

“Her birthday, of course,” Louis replied, matter-of-factly.

“But we don’t know when her birthday is,” Liam said.

“Yeah, she wouldn’t tell anyone,” Niall added.

They weren’t wrong. The girls have all tried to coax that information out of Harry several times over, especially around Louis’ and Zayn’s birthdays, but she wouldn’t give it away, and eventually, they just forgot it.

“Just trust me,” Louis said, “we’re throwing her a party on February first, at my place. But I need your help.”

And so they did. Louis took it upon herself to get Harry to the party, being the only one who had the slightest idea as to what Harry could be going through, and what she should expect. She didn’t want to expose Harry’s struggles to their friends, so her going to fetch Harry should be best for everyone. 

Liam was entrusted with the spare key to Louis’ apartment, as well as with being in charge of making sure everything was perfect, from the snacks and drinks that Niall brought, through the cake that Louis took care of, to the decorations that were assigned to Zayn, and everything in-between. Knowing how responsible Liam was, Louis knew she was the right person for the job.

Louis even had this part of bringing Harry to her flat all planned out, with preparations she’s made in advance.

“Hello?” Harry’s voice, sounding as distant as it had been lately, which Louis now knew was due to the effect of this time of the year on her, came through the phone.

“Hey Haz, how are you doing?” Louis asked patiently.

“You know, the usual,” Harry muttered.

Louis sighed. “Listen, I was thinking. What if I came over on your birthday? We could hang out, just the two of us. Maybe I could help take your mind off things, make you feel a little better?”

“I-I dunno, Lou,” Harry said, surprise evident in her voice. “I’ll probably be a mess, you don’t wanna be around that.”

“I don’t mind that,” Louis said. “I just wanna be there for you. Please? If it won’t do any good, I doubt it could do any harm. I know it won’t change the way I feel about you. So it’s all up to whether or not you think it will be good for you. If it would just make you feel worse, I’ll respect that.” And that would also mean calling off the entire surprise party, Louis thought to herself.

“I guess it won’t be too bad…” Harry said hesitantly. “It could be nice to have some company.”

“Alright, then.” Louis smiled victoriously to herself. “I’ll see you then. Take care.” She practically had to bite her tongue not to say anything stupid, like the words she wanted to say.

“You too. Bye.” Harry said, Louis replying with a “bye” and hanging up.

Louis was quite proud of herself for that specific act of planning ahead. It wasn’t usually her strongest suit, and she had thought of it all by herself, knowing she couldn’t just show up unannounced. She couldn’t help but smirk smugly to herself as she drove to Harry’s place.

“Hi,” A small smile appeared on Harry’s rather tired face as she opened the door. Louis liked to think it wasn’t forced.

“Hi, how are you?” Louis opened her arms, giving Harry a firm hug as she entered them. Louis had been the only one Harry let visit her ever since that night, and during one of Louis’ visits, the younger girl expressed her appreciation of Louis’ firm, warm hugs.

“I’ve been better,” Harry admitted as she let Louis in. “What are you all dressed up for?”

“Oh,” Louis had prepared for this as well, “I thought maybe we could do this thing where we dress up and put on makeup for no particular reason? It might help to make you feel better. Sort of like a ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ situation, if you will.”

Something that seemed a lot like a fond smile tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth, and soon Louis found herself fixing Harry’s freshly washed curls and doing her makeup and nails. During this time, Louis knew the other girls should be preparing her place for the party. She had left early precisely for this reason, and once again couldn’t help but feel proud of herself for planning ahead so well.

Everything kept going just according to Louis’ plan, and soon enough it was time to execute the final part of it. After a while of just chilling around together, talking quietly, and cuddling to watch TV— much to Louis’ enjoyment— she got the green light from Liam that the flat was ready for them.

“Hey, Haz?”

“Hm?” A hum came from where Harry’s head was resting on Louis’ knees, Louis’ fingers in her hair.

“What do you think about going for a drive?”

Harry turned and furrowed her brows at Louis. “Drive where?”

“Nowhere in particular.” Louis bluffed. “Just drive around a bit and come back. Get some fresh air maybe.”

Harry seemed to ponder it for a bit before nodding and sitting up. “Okay.”

And so they took Louis’ car, with Louis making sure not to drive directly towards her street, but take a different, much longer route, just so Harry didn’t suspect anything. Eventually, however, as Louis made a turn into her street, Harry did seem to pick up on something.

“Isn’t this where you live?”

“Uh, yeah,” Louis said, thinking as she spoke, “I just realized I needed something from my flat, would you mind coming up with me for a second to get it?”

“I guess not.” With that, Louis parked under her building, and they entered, making their way up the stairs until they got to Louis’ apartment door. Louis did her best to mask her excitement and glee as she unlocked the door and opened it-

“SURPRISE!!!!”

Louis turned to see Harry comically jump where she stood in surprise, hands coming up to cover her mouth and nose as her eyes watered with the realization of what was going on, all while their friends, who were inside Louis’ flat, approached the door while singing “Happy Birthday”.

Louis continued to watch Harry, unable to take the huge smile off of her face, as Harry’s wide eyes landed on her, glistening with tears, and she seemed to figure out that Louis was the one behind all of this, practically jumping her, arms wrapping around Louis’ neck as a sob ripped from her own throat.

“I can’t believe you actually did this!”

Louis simply laughed, her arms around Harry’s slim waist. “Then I don’t think you actually know me that well yet.”

Harry pulled back a few beats later, wiping her cheeks while being as careful as she could not to further ruin her makeup, but her pink, plump lips were stretched around the biggest, brightest, most genuine smile Louis had seen on her face in a while. Maybe ever.

“You little shit.”

✧✧✧

Harry’s birthday party was a blast, the guestlist consisting of not only the four girls who had quickly grown to become her dearest friends, but also her two childhood best friends — with whom Niall had been successful at getting in touch with, Louis would never know how —, as well as several of hers and Niall’s favorite co-workers. It had just enough people to be intimate, but not too small.

The music was good, the drinks and snacks were good, the decorations were all in place, and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Louis was almost certain she was even happier about all of this than Harry herself, who seemed to be her usual, sociable, charming self as she laughed with all her friends, introducing the several different groups to each other. A part of Louis was worried that it was all a facade, just Harry’s way to cope with suddenly being thrust into a social situation after a few weeks of isolation and depression. But something about the way Harry behaved told Louis that that wasn’t the case.

Louis wasn’t sure if it was the twinkle in her green eyes or the way she seemed to laugh with her entire body, laughter sounding fuller and stronger than she’d ever heard before, or something else, but Harry seemed to carry an energy Louis had never seen on her. Then again, Louis reckoned it could just be the fact that she had recently discovered she had feelings for Harry, and maybe all of that was a part of the different light she suddenly saw her in.

Just as Louis was finishing that thought, her eyes met Harry’s, and suddenly she was all too aware that she was standing beside Liam and Niall, who were discussing something passionately, her body half turned away from them to stare at Harry, like a weirdo, for God knows how long. Harry certainly noticed, because she smiled cheekily at Louis around the glass of her champagne flute, dimples popping and eyes still shining, and daintily waved her finger at Louis, who returned a small smile and wave before raising her glass of red wine to her lips and trying to force herself to focus back on Liam and Niall, just as Zayn was returning from refilling hers and Liam’s glasses. 

As the night was coming to an end, however, it was becoming gradually more and more difficult for Louis’ mind not to drift back to Harry, especially when the only ones left were the five of them, and Louis’ interactions with Harry were much more frequent, giving her way too much time to admire Harry.

Eventually, Louis excused herself, walking into the restroom and leaning her hands on the counter, hanging her head as she tried to sort out her mind and give her heart a small break from beating so hard and loudly.

Just as Louis was doing some breathing exercises, trying to calm down and get her cheeks to stop burning, and possibly even convince herself that she just had a little too much wine, a knock sounded on the bathroom door.

“It’s taken!” She called, but instead of footsteps, a human voice came from the other side.

“Lou?” It was Harry. Oh, God, why did it have to be Harry? “Can I come in for a sec?”

Louis took one final breath. “Sure.”

Harry opened the door and closed it behind herself, offering Louis a coy smile once it was just the two of them in the small space.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you all night, but I didn’t really get a chance to have you alone for a moment. I figured this would be my best shot.”

“What’s up?” Louis tried to sound like she wasn’t as eager to hear what Harry had to say as she was.

“I just wanted to thank you, for everything.” Harry smiled, looking sheepish, with her hands clasped in front of her over her ripped black skinny jeans, which she paired with a black button-up with little red hearts that had just a few too many buttons undone so that one side of it was barely hanging onto her shoulder and Louis couldn’t possibly not catch a glimpse of her white lace bralette, and a pair of brown, suede ankle boots. “Tonight was amazing, and you have no idea what it meant to me. It was the first time I actually enjoyed my birthday, and it kinda even made me realize that I could enjoy it. Because I never thought so before. So thank you so much for that, it must’ve not been easy and I appreciate you making all of this effort for me.”

“You’re absolutely, completely welcome.” Louis smiled sincerely, Harry returning a timid smile as she seemed to have more to say.

“However, tonight has made me realize something else, too.”

Louis raised her eyebrows, her words coming out breathy as Harry inched closer, and Louis’ chest felt tighter, her nose filly with the scents of Harry and her still-present perfume. “What’s that?”

“This evening that you pulled off for me…” Harry rubbed her arm, “it’s not something just anyone does for… just anyone. At least not with baggage like mine. And it’s not just about tonight, no one said you had to care so much, I’ve even tried to stop you from caring, but you fought your way through. I’ve had true friends in my life, people who I’m even closer with than what I should be with my family in an ideal world, and even they don’t know as much as you do. They didn’t fight for it nearly as much as you did. And there was never this… something that I can’t quite put my finger on, that made me want to let them in, like you do.”

Louis swallowed thickly, her throat feeling dry. “What are you saying?”

“I guess I’m saying… You’re quite special, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis felt completely outside of her body as Harry’s fingertips ran down the inner part of her forearm, frozen until Harry laced their fingers together, barely having enough time to register her own hand tightening around Harry’s warm one before the taller girl’s lips were pressing softly against hers, and she tasted of cherries and champagne, smelled of flowers and organic shampoo, and felt like nothing Louis has ever felt before. 

Just as Louis managed to get herself back into her body enough to actively kiss Harry back, the girl moved away, Louis being able to hear her giggle softly when Harry nearly caused her to trip over her own feet. Louis opened her eyes to stare in shock at a self-doubting Harry, who had the tips of her slim, long fingers against her lips before moving them away to speak.

“Was that okay?”

Her cheeks were bright pink, showing even through the makeup Louis had put on her, and Louis couldn’t even answer, couldn’t do anything other than grab Harry by the neck with one hand on the back of her neck, the other arm around her waist, and pull her in for another, longer, deeper kiss.

✧✧✧

After that night, Harry and Louis were nearly inseparable, despite not having discussed the newfound status of their relationship. They had an unspoken understanding of acting normal around their friends, as Louis’ patient care of Harry served to help her in returning to their group hangouts as soon as the weekend after her birthday. However, whenever neither of them was busy, and they weren’t with their friends, they were almost constantly together.

It started with Louis continuing to visit Harry at her flat on a daily basis, and in total, they seemed to dedicate no less than an hour a day just to kissing, and the most part of the rest of their time, to cuddling. However, on Sunday morning, after Louis had crashed at Harry’s following their meetup with Liam, Zayn, and Niall, and after Harry made them pancakes for breakfast, Louis insisted on going outside, and once they were both dressed up warmly enough, they went out on a non-date to the park, taking advantage of the few hours where it wasn’t snowing to walk around, watch the frozen lake and play in the snow. All Louis really wanted was to show Harry the beauty of the shortest month of the year, have her be out and enjoy everything that winter had to offer instead of being locked away in her flat.

Eventually, both of them had their cheeks and nose bright pink, and Louis couldn’t resist the twinkle in Harry’s eyes as she looked at her, not seeming to care one bit that she glamorously lost their snowball fight. Louis stuck her bottom lip out and gave Harry her best puppy dog look as she approached the taller girl.

“I’m chilly.” She declared childishly, Harry’s lips stretching into that beautiful smile of hers.

“Are you now? Gotta warm you up then, can’t have you freezing to death on me, yeah?”

Louis simply giggled as the curly-haired girl pulled her in with two arms wrapped around her waist, and pressed their lips together. Outside was freezing cold, but Harry was so warm, and Louis wanted to stay like this forever.

That wish was soon taken away from her, as they began to feel tiny bits of something frozen land on their kiss-flushed, cold-numb cheeks, and they ended their kiss but stayed close as they tilted their heads back to look at the snow that started up again. They looked at each other, sharing a laugh before Louis stuck out her tongue to try and catch snowflakes, and Harry laughed, gleeful as a small child, copying her. The moment ended with them sharing one last kiss before Harry laughed.

“C’mon, let’s go get some hot cocoa before you freeze on me.”

And so they found themselves entering an adorable little cafe a walking distance away from where they had parked Louis’ car, sighing in relief as they were enveloped by the warmth inside. They chose a spot, took off their soaked coats, scarves, hats, and gloves, and sat down, thanking the waitress who brought them their menus.

As Louis looked through her menu, noticing all the Valentine’s Day themed items they were offering, she suddenly seemed to realize the day of love was drawing near.

“Do you have anything in mind for Valentine’s Day?”

Harry looked up from her menu and at Louis. “Where is that coming from?”

“I just noticed they’re offering some Valentine’s Day themed items and realized we’re only less than two weeks away and we’ve never even talked about it.”

Harry offered Louis a small, closed-mouth smile. “Well, we only had our first kiss a few days ago, on my birthday, and we haven’t even discussed our relationship yet.”

“Maybe it’s time to discuss it?” Louis offered.

Harry sighed, taking both of Louis’ hands in both of hers. “Do we have to? I really like this.”

“Me too,” Louis said, slightly confused, “but we can’t stay like this forever, I’d like to know if this is going somewhere or if it’s just for fun. I don’t have any objection to either of these options, but I’d like to know.”

Harry’s gaze lowered to their hands, and she let out an audible breath through her nose.

“Harry,” Louis said gently, a tone both she and Harry had grown familiar with, and was reserved for specific moments, the nature of which neither could quite explain, but it had the power of drawing Harry’s gaze back up to meet Louis’ patient one. “What are you so scared of?”

Silence. Harry’s gaze dropped once more.

“Are you worried that you’re gonna turn out like your mother in a relationship?” If anyone else had asked Harry this, she would go on the offensive, but something about Louis made her want to be candid.

“It’s happened before.”

“What do you mean?” Somehow, Louis knew she would know when she was going too far. She had no idea how, she hadn’t known Harry all that long, and they’d only been having this undefined relationship for a few days, but Louis could feel it.

Harry sighed, looking out the window they were sitting by. “I had dated this guy for quite some time. He wasn’t an easy person, but I wanted to make it work. I thought we were in love. He wanted to have a baby, regardless of the fact that we had agreed we were nowhere near ready to get married. But he wanted one. And I figured, what the hell, I wanted to have one someday eventually, why not now, right? So we tried, and tried, and tried, I was so sure that I wanted to, but it didn’t work. We went to a doctor, and, it was actually a day before Valentine’s Day, we got the results that said that I may never be able to have a child… I was devastated, but not because I couldn’t give him a child. It was because I would likely never be able to if I wanted to. When I thought of him in this situation, the only thing I felt was fear of his reaction. I knew he would be mad. And I was right, he was furious. He'd hit me a few times in past arguments, but when I told him, he started throwing things, threatening he would kill me if I didn’t get out of his sight instantly, saying I was worthless to him now. That happened on Valentine’s Day because I was just so scared of telling him, I kept that hidden for him for a whole day before I got the courage to tell him. So I did as he said and ran as if my life depended on it. Because it sorta did. Only in retrospect did I see all the red flags, and the similarities between him and the things I’d heard about my father.”

Louis pursed her lips, reaching carefully to wipe the tears from Harry’s cheeks. “I am so sorry, babe. It can really be a vicious cycle when you don’t really know better, or you don’t believe you deserve better. It’s not your fault, though, it can happen to anyone, but I’m glad you got out of there. It takes so much strength to be the person you are after experiencing those things, you are so incredibly strong.” She sighed before continuing. “I want to promise you everything, love, I really do, but then again I doubt promises mean anything here. I just… I hope you can take this chance on me and let me treat you right, but I’d totally understand if you cannot do that.”

Harry sniffled, squeezing Louis’ hand. “You’re so great, and I trust you, but I don’t really trust my judgment, if that makes sense. I want to be your girlfriend, I want to be going somewhere with what we have, too, but it’s just so scary.”

“That’s okay,” Louis said. “We can take it slow. Or however you want, we can take this however you want, whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Harry finally smiled again, still small, but genuine. “Okay. So… girlfriends?”

Louis couldn’t help the smile on her face, and she didn’t want to, either, seeing as it caused Harry’s smile to stretch wider. “I’d love that, if you feel comfortable with it.”

“I do.”

“Okay.” They were now both grinning at each other, like two idiots in love. “So, Valentine’s Day? I know what you said about it, but I bet I can change your mind.”

✧✧✧

And so, Louis lived up to her word about Valentine’s Day, pulling out all the stops much like she did on Harry’s birthday, and managed to bring some light into another usually rather dark day for Harry on the shortest month of the year. Filled with candy hearts, cuddles, kisses, and some other things, anything Harry could wish for on the day dedicated to celebrating love. She did feel loved, even if she wasn’t quite able to say the words yet. Louis, too, had yet to say those three words, the same words that always circled in her head at the mere thought of Harry, not wanting to pressure her, but they found their ways to express it, and it quickly became their own little love language.

A few days before Valentine’s Day, they told their friends about their new titles, when Niall was trying to persuade Liam and Zayn to drop their plans together and do something, all five of them, because “celebrating love means platonic love, too!” And so, giving Liam and Zayn a way out to enjoy the holiday as a couple, much like they wanted to themselves, Louis and Harry exposed their relationship, making the group forget all about Valentine’s Day plans and start probing them with questions of how, when and where.

They both had to admit it was relieving to have that out in the open for their close friends to know. While they enjoyed this little secretive thing they had, they knew the secret had to have an expiration date if they wanted to be serious about their relationship. And once they knew where they stood, they agreed that they saw no point in hiding it any longer, and took the chance to reveal it when it came.

The morning after Valentine’s Day, Louis climbed out of Harry’s bed and got dressed, but stopped to admire her girlfriend’s sleeping form before making her way to the kitchen so she could surprise Harry with breakfast. It didn’t turn out the best, but it was edible, and Harry very much appreciated it.

Louis was excited about every aspect of their relationship. Walks around the frozen park became a regular thing, whenever the weather allowed it, and Louis still made the extra effort every single day to fill the twenty-eight-day long month with everything that could make Harry not hate it anymore.

Of course, Harry still needed her space sometimes. Some days she’d still feel down and just want to be left alone. Louis respected that, didn’t want to overwhelm her, but she didn’t let her sink into it too much. She would still check in with her, make sure she’d been taking care of herself. If Louis found out she hadn’t, she would usually come over, just to spend some time with her. But if she did, Louis let her be until Harry was ready to reach out again, which she always did, eventually.

Louis had great plans for them. She knew her family would take Harry in as one of their own as soon as they would get to know her, but she was saving that for another month. February was going to be their month. Twenty-eight, sometimes twenty-nine, days of Louis and Harry. Louis didn’t know if it would last forever, but she knew that as long as it lasted, she would make sure that Harry was happy all year round, and that she would never forget to see the beauty in what she used to think of as the worst month of the year.


End file.
